Friday, April 12, 2013

Petty Petulance and the Pouter

Almost 48 years old. Still plagued by acne and temper tantrums. Some days I just want to kick and scream (usually at my bosses or co-workers). The worst part is I usually want to do it in response to a behavior that I have been guilty of.

My ideas are always brilliant, and the wise would do well to smilingly adopt my plans. Why do I get insecure and worry that I'm not important or useful anymore?  Why must I be self arrogant?  Why do I see that my way is the only shiny golden path to efficiency?

Why does my petulance seek and outlet in the consumption of unhealthy food? Filet o fish. Beefy nacho griller.  Donuts.  Pizza. White flour. White sugar. Visions of vodka induced numbness.

Why can't I crave the endorphins of riding my bike? Why is self destruction and bad behavior so much easier than self care?

I guess if I knew all that, I wouldn't be sitting here pouting like a two year old

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